


Out of His Mind

by scifiangel



Series: The Captain!verse [6]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2018-02-05 20:04:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1830589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scifiangel/pseuds/scifiangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor has to deal with loss. Jack has to deal with the alieness of the Doctor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out of His Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my wonderful daughter for betaing for me and coming up with the perfect title in more ways than one. And to **knm1234** for betaing after posting.

  
**[](http://pics.livejournal.com/scifiangel/pic/0000799g/)  
**Manip by Whogate

  
**Title:** _Out of His Mind_ (Adult)

**Author:** Scifiangel  
 **Challenge:** 2010 Doctor/Jack Fest at _Winter Companions_  
 **Prompt Used:** Will be quoted at the end of the story.  
 **Series:** This is part of my series _The Captain!Verse_  
, but can be read as a stand alone. If you would like to read the rest just click on the link. They're all on my journal.  
 **Rating:** Adult only. If under 18yrs do not read.  
 **Beta:** The wonderful [perception_filter](http://knm1234.livejournal.com/), and my daughter who came up with the perfect title.  
 **Spoilers:** Very small ones for Dr. Who’s _Christmas Invasion_ and _The Last of the Time Lords_ , but are they really spoilers anymore?  
 **Warnings:**   Graphic sex, graphic character death (Well, temporarily at leased.) This is a bit darker than my usual stuff.  
 **Genre:** Smut, Slash, Angst  
 **Disclaimer:** Full disclaimer under cut.

 **Summary:** The Doctor has to deal with loss. Jack has to deal with the alieness of the Doctor.  
  
 **Disclaimer:** This is a work of fiction. Names, character, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or a used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental. This is a work of parody, as defined by the Fair Use Doctrine. Any similarities, without satirical intent, to copyrighted characters, or individuals living or dead, are purely coincidental. This work has not been endorsed by Russell T. Davies, the BBC, or any of the others holding copyrights or license to books or movies. No connection is implied or should be inferred. This is not a commercial work. The authors receive no financial gain from its production or distribution. It is available without charge. This work is intended for adults only. Some of the content of this fiction is graphically violent and/or sexual. It is intended for readers age eighteen or over and anyone underage is prohibited from reading. Distribution is limited. The distribution of this story is for personal use only. Any other form of distribution is prohibited without the consent of the author.

 **Author’s Notes:** Special thanks to my wonderful daughter for betaing for me and coming up with the perfect title in more ways than one. And to **knm1234** for betaing after posting.

 **For this story, here is what you need to know:**  
1) Canon until Dr Who’s _Journey’s End_ and Torchwood’s _Exit Wounds_. AU after that. Ianto survived _Children of Earth_ in the Captain!Verse.  
2) Jack started travelling with the Doctor six months ago as his lover.  
3) A few weeks ago they realized that they could project images into each other’s minds and feel each other’s emotions. This intensifies during love making to the point that whatever they do to their partner they can feel it on their own bodies. Enjoy!

_Out of His Mind_

The back doors of the munitions factory swung open with a bang that echoed in the still night. Two moons were shining down, casting a blue glow on the figures running through the doors and away from the factory.

“How much longer?” Jack chuckled as he ran across the empty parking lot just behind the Doctor.

“Thirteen point six five seconds,” the Doctor replied as he picked up the pace. Jack had to run full-out to keep up with him. They were both grinning like loons as their feet pounded the concrete and their coats billowed behind them.

The Doctor could feel Jack’s excitement and happiness. The rush they both shared when they ran together. It had only been a few weeks since they could sense each others' emotions, but he could no longer imagine life without Jack in his mind. The merger was growing more powerful and each day they discovered new ways to use it. They had just started practicing how to control it, but there was no hurry. They had forever and Jack was the only one who could promise him that and mean it. The Doctor couldn’t remember ever feeling more joy and contentment in his life. Sometimes he still had trouble believing the reality of this precious gift the universe had given him.

The explosion came seven point three seconds too soon. The Doctor had just enough time to turn around and see the flames before Jack jumped at him, tackling him to the ground.

Even before he hit the ground the Doctor felt a sharp searing pain in his back as his legs went numb. Ignoring the pain, he blinked his eyes and tried to focus through the smoke. He could feel Jack lying on his chest. He raised his head enough to look at him. He could see Jack through a red glaze on his eyes. He blinked again to clear them. That’s when he realized it wasn’t his eyes. Jack was covered in blood and there was a large piece of metal shrapnel protruding from the centre of his back. He knew then it was Jack’s pain he was feeling, not his own.

“Jack!” the Doctor shouted desperately as he put his arms around his lover.

“Doc,” Jack whispered as he coughed blood onto the Time Lord’s chest.

“No, don’t try to talk. I need to get you to the TARDIS.” The Doctor tried to slide his legs out from under Jack, but they wouldn't move. “I can’t move my legs. Why can’t I move my legs?”

“Doc, you need... to pull... the shrapnel out.” The Doctor could tell it was taking all of Jack’s strength for him to speak.

“No. If I do that, you will bleed out in moments.” The Doctor clung to him, rejecting the truth.

“Nothing can prevent... that now.” The Doctor could feel the pain shoot through his back with every word Jack spoke. He coughed again and red foam bubbled out of his mouth. The Doctor knew there must be blood in his lungs. “If... still in when... revive... die again.”

“Right. Yes. Okay.” The Doctor reached out and pulled the piece of metal from Jack’s back, throwing it away. They both cried out from the pain. The Doctor pulled his lover tighter into his arms as he felt the warm blood soaking into his clothes and Jack’s life ebbing away. At his last shaky breath the Doctor screamed.

“No! No! No! No!” the Doctor cried as he clung to his lover. He could feel his legs again and the pain in his back was gone, but so was Jack’s consciousness. He rocked him back and forth screaming and sobbing. He pulled him further up onto his chest, resting Jack’s head on his shoulder. He pressed his fingers to Jack’s temples and reached out with his mind. He was desperate to feel his lover’s presence, but nothing was there.

This was his fault. He had let Jack die. Somewhere in the back of his mind the Doctor knew Jack would come back. Unfortunately that part was buried under the overwhelming grief and the gaping emptiness of the Jack-shaped hole in his mind. He felt like he was slowly going insane, but he couldn’t remember why that was a bad thing. Part of his mind tried to decide the best way to kill himself and not be able to regenerate. He decided that even if he was able to he would refuse to regenerate, just as the Master had done. That thought made him giggle hysterically, though he didn’t know why it was funny. He only knew he had to find Jack and get him back into his mind. He put his all into that thought. He would get Jack back.

********

Jack gasped back to life and looked around. He wasn’t in the factory parking lot where he knew he had died. Instead he was standing in an open field of red grass that came up to mid-calf. Thousands of images swirled around him filling the burnt orange sky. Fleeting glimpses of faces and places flew past him in a whirlwind. Some he knew like Rose, the Crucible, the Valiant, and the Master. Most he didn’t. The smell of smoke, and blood, and charred flesh assaulted his nose. Emotions flooded into him, bombarding him like physical blows. There was fear, guilt, love, hopelessness, despair, joy, panic, anger, and helplessness, along with others he couldn’t identify. Snatches of voices and sounds he couldn’t make out tried to deafen his ears. Most of the words had the lyrical cadence Jack knew to be the Doctor's native language. He dropped to his knees, shutting his eyes and clamping his hands over his ears trying to block it all out. It didn’t seem to help.

“Doctor!” Jack shouted. He didn’t understand what was happening, but he knew the Doctor would.

********

Jack's body gasped back to life in the Doctor’s arms. He cried with joy to have his lover back. But something was wrong. Jack's heart was beating, his lungs were filling with air, and the wound had closed up, but the Doctor couldn't sense his mind. He started to panic and shook his Captain. He was not going to let the universe take Jack from him again.

“Jack, wake up!” When he got no reaction the Doctor dove into Jack's mind. He found his autonomic systems working, but Jack's consciousness was gone. He wasn’t asleep or in a coma. His conscious mind just wasn’t there. The Doctor had never felt so helpless.

********

Jack was curled tightly into a fetal position in the grass, whimpering. He desperately tried to block out the cacophony of sounds, sights, and emotions that assaulted him. He suddenly remembered a story Mickey had told him once about when the Doctor had just regenerated. Something about a runaway Christmas tree. He now knew how to call the Doctor.

“Doctor, help me!” Jack concentrated with everything he had in him on getting that message to his Time Lord.

********

The Doctor heard Jack’s scream for help and looked down at his still body. He realized the sound wasn’t entering his mind, but crying out from **_inside_ ** his mind. He understood what had happened and hoped Jack would forgive him. He knew what he had to do.

********

The hurricane of sights, sounds, and emotions suddenly swept away from Jack and began to condense into a figure. He stood up and faced this apparition. Even before it was solid, the figure began to move towards him. It was a few feet away when the Doctor’s face became recognizable. The image of the Doctor glowed a pale blue. It reminded Jack of how beautiful he had looked that last day on the Valiant so long ago. Like a radiant angel. His angel embraced him, and then kissed him with passion. When they pulled apart Jack was mildly surprised he wasn't panting.

“Doctor, what’s happening?”

“I’m so sorry, but you’re trapped in my mind. I will show you how to get out.” The Doctor’s voice seemed to be coming from all around him as if there were stereo speakers in the sky. His glowing fingers caressed Jack’s cheek and love flooded into his mind. He reached up and covered the Doctor’s hand with his own, and then leaned into his touch.

“You have to imagine a door,” the Doctor explained, “and know without any doubt that your body is on the other side.”

“I don’t want to leave you.”

“You won’t be leaving me, Captain. You’ll be coming back to me.” Jack closed his eyes and concentrated. Soon a blue wooden double door appeared a few yards away. It looked exactly like the door to the TARDIS which made the Doctor smile. “Now, believe with your whole heart that your body is on the other side of that door and step through.”

Jack did as he was told and was soon looking into the beautiful, tear-filled brown eyes of his Time Lord. He was lying in his lover’s arms and Jack could feel the elation his Doctor felt at having his Captain back. He leaned back so he could look at the Doctor’s face and was horrified to see it was covered in blood.

“Doctor!”

“It’s okay,” the Doctor said softly, giving Jack a tight smile. “It’s not my blood.”

Jack could feel the Doctor’s happiness, but also sadness and not a small amount of guilt. He grabbed the Doctor’s lapels and kissed him with passion. The kiss was to reassure himself as much as the Doctor. His Time Lord returned the kiss, but quickly pulled away.

“Love that thought, but I think we should get cleaned up first.” The Doctor indicated the blood they were both covered in. “And the authorities will be here soon. Let's go home.”

It was a short walk through the burning debris back to the TARDIS. Once inside, the Doctor walked to the console, wiped his hands on the back of his trousers and sent them into the Vortex. An uncomfortable silence settled between them. Words weren't as necessary when you knew your lover’s feelings. Unfortunately the Doctor’s feelings were very mixed. Jack could understand his happiness, but what was causing the intense guilt and desperate fear? None of what Jack was sensing told him _why_ the Doctor felt that way.

Jack walked up behind him and put his hand on the Doctor’s shoulder. He tried to convey his concern without having to ask him what was wrong.

“Not yet, Jack. Please, let’s just get cleaned up.”

“Whatever you want, Sweetheart.”

Jack put his arm around the Doctor’s shoulders, giving him a side hug and leading him out of the console room. The Doctor slid his arm behind his Captain’s coat and around his waist. He leaned his head on Jack's shoulder as they walked. The Time Lord’s heavy sigh concerned Jack, but he quickly shut down on that emotion. He didn't want to put any pressure on the Doctor to talk just yet. He would tell Jack when he was ready.

Once they reached their bedroom, Jack helped his lover undress and then undressed himself. He placed their blood-soaked clothes in the hamper knowing the TARDIS would take care of them. He briefly stroked the wall thanking her ahead of time. The TARDIS hummed a quiet reassurance back.

Jack led his lover into their en-suite, opened the shower door, and turned on the water. The Doctor stepped in and Jack entered behind him. He picked up the Doctor’s favourite cleansing gel, putting some in his hands and began to wash is lover’s shoulders and back as he tried to massage the tension away. He saw the Doctor pick up a flannel that the TARDIS must have provided for them and begin to wash himself. The Doctor closed his eyes and let the water beat down on him to rinse off.

As Jack’s hands reach his lover’s lower back, he looked down. The deep red water running into the drain stood testament to just how much blood he had lost. He knew how painful it must have been for the Doctor to watch him die. He didn't want to imagine having to go through it himself. Jack leaned in and whispered into his lover’s ear.

“We’ll get through this.” Jack placed gentle kisses on the Doctor’s neck and shoulder. He rubbed his whole body against his lover’s soapy back, making him moan.

“Now lean back and let me wash your hair,” Jack whispered. He knew how much the Doctor loved to have his fingers in his hair. His Time Lord was making wonderfully contented moans as he lathered up his hair and massaged his scalp. Jack thought those moans sounded suspiciously like purring and the notion made him smile.

Jack reached forward and took down the removable shower head and gently rinsed the suds from the silky hair. He used a little more gel to wash his own hair and back. He rinsed himself off before replacing the shower head. The Doctor leaned his head back onto Jack’s shoulder. He leaned in to kiss his Time Lord’s cheek, but his lover turned his head, meeting Jack’s lips. The kiss was soft and gentle, but it soon turned passionate. The Doctor pushed his whole body back into Jack’s and rubbed his bum into his lover’s growing hardness. They were both groaning as the Doctor broke the kiss. He reached back to take Jack’s arms and wrapped them around his chest.

“I need you,” the Doctor moaned. From the images entering Jack’s mind, he knew exactly what his lover needed.

He turned the Doctor ninety degrees so the water wouldn't spray in his face and put the Time Lord’s hands on the wet tile. He caressed up the Doctor’s arms and stroked down his chest and abdomen. This had his lover shivering and squirming back into his cock again. When Jack reached his hips he walked the Doctor back, bent him over a bit, and widened his stance.

Unlike earth-made soaps, Jack knew from experience that the Doctor's special cleaning gel made a pretty good lube. He poured a generous amount into his hands and began to massage the pert firm arse in front of him. The lust radiating from the Doctor spurred him on as he slipped a finger into his lover’s tight hole. Jack leaned over and nibbled on the Doctor’s neck as he pressed his hard cock into his lover’s back and rutted against him. The dual feel of his finger in his lover and the echo of it in his own arse were driving him mad with want. It seemed to take no time for him to be able to slide two and then three fingers in.

“Captain, please. I need you inside me.”

The Doctor’s shameless begging made Jack lose all caution. He grabbed his lover’s hips and thrust in to the hilt. The tight friction in front of him and the ghost of burning fullness from behind was exquisite. Jack could think of nothing more pleasurable in the universe than making love to his Time Lord. He pumped into him a little harder and faster with each stroke. He reached around to grab the Doctor’s cock, stroking it in time with his own thrusts. Their moans and cries echoed in the small space. Jack licked and sucked on his lover’s neck and shoulder as he pounded him. When the pleasure reached its height, Jack bit down on his neck, marking the Time Lord as his own and filling him with his seed. A moment later the Doctor screamed his own release.

After a moment Jack pulled out and turned the Doctor to face him. They wrapped their arms around each other, holding on tight as they both came down from their high. When their breathing and heart rates returned to normal Jack rinsed them both again, then shut off the water.

Jack opened the shower door and stepped out. He grabbed two of the warm fluffy towels the TARDIS provided. He enjoyed how they always felt like they'd just come out of the dryer. He handed one to the Doctor, who began to dry Jack’s back. He sighed as he ran his hand over his immortal's smooth skin where the shrapnel used to be.

Once they were both dry they made their way to the bedroom and curled up in bed under their warm duvet. Jack made sure he was behind his lover as he knew the Doctor would be more willing to talk if he didn't have to look at him.

“Are you ready to tell me what happened?” Jack felt the Doctor tense in his arms. “I promise that no matter what, I’ll still love you and I will never leave you.”

“When you died I...” The Doctor had to pause and swallowed hard before continuing. “I think I went a little bit mad.” A shiver went through the Doctor’s body.

“It’s okay. I’m here.” Jack could sense how hard this was for him. “Go on.”

“I was trying to decide how best to kill myself.” This shocked Jack.

“But you knew I was going to come back.”

“As I said I was a bit mad.”

“Sounds like more than a bit.” Jack knew that their usual banter would relax the Doctor and lighten the mood. But the Doctor’s admission had really frightened him. He could think of nothing worse than to come back from death and find his lover dead. Jack buried his feelings deep. He didn’t want to upset his Time Lord further.

“Yes, well I was desperate to feel you back in my mind, so when you did revive I...” Jack could feel the guilt radiated off of the Doctor. “Well, I guess I pulled you into my mind and trapped you there. I’m so sorry.”

“You didn’t trap me there. I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Jack.”

“No, I’m serious. I'm here and I knew you would come for me. You made a mistake when you were under a lot of stress. So what?! I’ve certainly have made enough of my own over the decades.” Jack turned the Doctor around so he could look him in the eyes and project the truth. “I told you a long time ago. I’ve never doubted you and I never will.”

Tears filled the Doctor’s eyes as he kissed Jack with passion and sent his love and gratitude into his immortal’s mind. Jack allowed his lover’s emotions to fill him.

Jack had won this round, but this wasn’t over. He knew that with the life they led he was probably going to die again. No, he was definitely going to die again and he couldn’t have the Doctor suicidal every time it happened. They would need to work this out. But that was a fight that could wait for another day. He had better things to do right then.

“So... ready for round two?” Jack wiggled his eyebrows and sent a filthy image to his lover.

The Doctor rolled his eyes and kissed his Captain again. For the moment at least, all was right with the universe.

_Prompt: After a telepathic mishap of some kind, Jack gets stuck in the Doctor's very alien head. (Preferably not in a humorous context.)_

Next in the series:  [ "With Love's Light Wings" ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1830808)   
**Please comment, if only to say if you like it. It is so important to writers and keeps us writing.**

Originally posted at [ Winter Companions](http://community.livejournal.com/wintercompanion/93823.html)  



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